


Why Him?

by ReeLeeV



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Forever and Always, Hyungki rise, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I swear, M/M, Slow Burn, predebut to present day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: Hyungwon and Kihyun weren’t exactly the closest members from the start… But, they suppose now that it just makes the present all the sweeter~
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been playing around with this idea for a while now, and tbh? After watching No.Mercy for the fifth time and Right Now for the third, I think it's about time I finally do this. Hope y'all enjoy the ride~

“Why  _ him _ ?” Hyungwon asks, staring confusedly at nothing in particular. Minhyuk shrugs, lifting only a single shoulder halfheartedly as he makes good use of his time and studies the lyrics yet again for their shared session with the vocal coach tomorrow. 

“He invited me… I heard he does that with everyone he meets,” his friend explains flippantly, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “DIdn’t he take you out to dinner?”

“ _ No _ ,” Hyungwon practically sneers. “He barely even shook my hand yesterday, and the only word he said was ‘hello’ before disappearing into the practice room.” Minhyuk perks up at this, his dark brows furrowing together. 

“Did you… offend him or something? I mean, how did you introduce yourself? Was it snide? Maybe it was snide. ‘Cause, no offense, sometimes you can come off that way.” Hyungwon rolls his big, dark eyes, slumping down into the swivel chair. 

“Gee, thanks,” he mutters, somewhat despondent. Minhyuk snickers and reaches over to pat his knee. Hyungwon looks away, practically scowling at the cramped-in walls. “I just don’t know what I did to the guy… Why would he invite you out to dinner but not me, even though he met us both at the same time?”

“I don’t know, Wonnie,” Minhyuk sighs, returning his gaze to the task at hand. “I don’t really see why you should be so bothered by it, anyway. You’ve never been bugged by someone snubbing you before.”

“Because he’s an obvious shoo-in for the final line-up, Min,” Hyungwon explains as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “This tv show idea is insane, but him and that rapper are both gonna make it, one way or another. They’re talented, personable, and hard workers. The coaches all love them both. Me, on the other hand, I  _ know _ they’re not sure on. I’m not a fantastic singer, and I’m not the best dancer, so—”

“ _ Stop _ talking about yourself like that,” Minhyuk interrupts, his raspy tone grating on annoyed. “You never doubted yourself for an instant before we joined Starship, and this isn’t any time to start now. You’re gonna make it into this new group with me, and you’re going to have plenty of opportunities to give this Kihyun guy hell for ignoring you. Okay?” 

Hyungwon can’t help the faint smile that tugs at his thick lips, grateful for his friend’s kind words. 

“It’s just…” he can’t help but continue nonetheless, “I  _ know _ they’ll be looking for trainees who have chemistry. You and me have got it, but  _ him _ ? He’s already written me off as someone not worth his time… What if the judges have, too? What if they see that Kihyun and I don’t get along and decide to not fill the visual spot with me because of that? What if—?”

“What if the sky falls,” Minhyuk says, rolling his eyes. “What if the aliens come and enslave us all? What if, what if, what if.” Hyungwon chuckles lightly to himself at the outlandish hypotheticals, finding them so utterly typical. “We deal with things as they come, Won, we always have. So stop wasting time worrying, and start using it to work on this song with me. Prove to  _ him  _ and everyone else that you  _ are _ a contender.”

Hyungwon nods to himself, eyes glancing down to the sheet of lyrics in Minhyuk’s sizeable hands. He sighs, holding his own hand out, and Minhyuk gladly hands him a copy before clicking play on the music track for them to study what it should sound like. They both begin readying their vocals, Hyungwon’s throat aching from overexertion. 

Yoo Kihyun is in one of the closets masquerading as a practice room, belting out his heart as he gets himself ready for the monthly evaluation. It’s a solo evaluation, thank god, so he doesn’t have to bother with getting to know any of the other trainees in time for a group evaluation. Not that it’s  _ that  _ much of a bother, mind you. They all seem like good guys. He just, frankly, doesn’t want to get attached in case he debuts before them. Which, for the most part, he figures will happen.

Not meaning to brag, but he is a damn good vocal. Main vocal material, for sure.

He may be lacking when it comes to dance skills, though that can be fixed with enough practice. Besides, his vocals can more than make up for any shortcomings as far as choreo is concerned. His looks, on the other hand… 

Kihyun tries not to catch his own warped reflection in the metallic siding of the keyboard in front of him. He doesn’t think he’s all  _ that  _ bad looking, mind you, he just knows he isn’t the best. And his vocals only make up for so much… Hyunwoo and Hoseok, those two are good dancers, singers,  _ and  _ visuals. The total package. Hyungwon and Minhyuk have that, too, apparently… 

Damn Starship… Are they just hellbent on keeping Kihyun from debuting?? He gets bringing in the muscle men, but those two models??? Fuck Starship. He’ll sing until he coughs up blood. He won’t lose this chance. After so many auditions without callbacks and finally making it into this god-forsaken company… He won’t let a single opportunity pass by.

So, if that means making nice with his fellow trainees and sacrifice practice time to do it, so be it. He’ll take care of two stones with Minhyuk, getting info on Hyungwon  _ and  _ Minhyuk at once. He doesn’t need to converse with another shoo-in for the group if he can help it. Hyungwon will be taken in, for sure. His looks and dancing alone guarantee that. So that leaves four spots taken already, when he counts in Jooheon… Five, if they use all the Nu Boyz members and bring in Gunhee. 

And just how much room does that leave for another vocalist who can’t even learn choreographies in a timely manner…?

_ No _ , Kihyun tells himself as he shakes his head. He can’t think like that. He has to remain positive. If for nothing else, than for himself. Until debut, he’s his only true friend. Everyone else is expendable… no matter how much that hurts sometimes. So, he’ll befriend the others as much as he dares. Aside from Hyungwon, of course. Befriending Hyungwon is way too risky.

His touchy tendencies are bad enough around Hyunwoo and Hoseok, with their ripped arms. Hyungwon, with his lithe form and elf-like looks… God, Kihyun’s mouth goes dry just thinking about it. 


	2. Chapter 2

“... _Group_ evaluation?” Kihyun asks, his brows raising. His vocal coach nods, humming in confirmation, and Kihyun can’t help but look at the other vocalists in the room with thinly-veiled disdain. Minhyuk on his left rolls his eyes and outright kicks him in the shin, earning a yelp of protest in return. The vocal coach smirks knowingly, and Kihyun has to quell his own need for retaliation. Later, when they’re back at the dorm… Later he’ll have his revenge. Maybe by hiding Minhyuk’s nintendo… 

“They want to test everyone for the show they’re doing,” the coach goes on, as if Kihyun had said nothing. “They’re testing your choreography skills and how well you work in a group while, you know, still shining on your own.” Well, Kihyun knows he has no issues shining on his own. Working in a group, however… 

“How will the groups be decided on?” Hyungwon asks from Minhyuk’s other side. Kihyun doesn’t glance his way like the other trainees in the room do. The less looking he does at Hyungwon, the better. _Especially_ since Hyungwon just came from a dance practice and his clothes, despite the growing cold outside, are soaked through with sweat and sticking to him. Kihyun now has enough to worry about with preparing for not the solo he’d been planning on, but some new group number. He doesn’t have time to be distracted by attractive dongsaengs.

Even _if_ attractive dongsaengs and he don’t exactly get along.

“They already have been,” the coach answers. “You all are in a group together, along with Yoonho and Jooheonney. They should be waiting for you with the choreography teacher by the time you’re finished here.” Kihyun looks down the row of vocalists… This means Hyunwoo and Hoseok are on the same team.

“Are they evaluating us on singing or dancing?” Kihyun asks, worry clogging his throat. If this is a dance evaluation and Hyunwoo and Hoseok are on the same team, they’re basically fucked. The vocal coach raises an eyebrow then, and Kihyun knows he’s just asked the wrong thing.

“It shouldn’t matter, since you’re trying to debut in a boy group and not as a soloist.”

Kihyun sits back in his chair at that, his head bowed in submission. He doesn’t notice the careful look Hyungwon’s giving him from Minhyuk’s left, the light in his eyes unreadable.

“Heya, hyung,” Jooheon greets from the floor, sweat already dripping off him. Kihyun can’t help the small chuckle that escapes him, the cold facade he adopts at being near Hyungwon falling away when he sees the rapper. Jooheon looks like he’s been put through the ringer, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, and Kihyun grows even more anxious. Dancing isn’t his strong suit… Maybe the company really is trying to sabotage him.

“I’ll run you four through routine and give those two a break,” the dance teacher announces, raising a remote. The vocalists scramble to put their stuff down along the wall of the small practice room and line up in front of the mirror. The teacher shuffles them around a bit until they’re in the formation he wants them in for the beginning. He starts the music and performs the solo version of the routine first, earning a respectful round of applause and a nervous gulp from the prospective main vocal in the room.

He then splits them up and starts going through them one by one, having them mirror his actions and steps. It’s a bit more meticulous than what Kihyun is used to, but he figures it’s because he and Yoosu are in this group… Neither of them are dancers like Hyungwon or Minhyuk.

The dance teacher, after running them through the routine as a group a couple times, tells them to practice up before he comes by tomorrow to check on them. He leaves them with a video of his dance crew doing the routine to review if they need, and the trainees stand around awkwardly. Kihyun checks his watch, sees how late it already is. 

“Let’s run this through a couple more times,” Minhyuk suggests, clapping his hands together and smiling brightly albeit a smidgen strained. “We can call it a night after and come back early tomorrow!” Kihyun easily agrees, already telling himself he won’t be leaving with the rest of them. He refuses to be a hindrance to this group, or to let this new evaluation throw him or his chances. He falls into his beginning position, diagonal from Hyungwon, and gets ready to face the music.

Hyungwon isn’t surprised when Minhyuk takes charge of the practice, since he’s the oldest in the room. He also isn’t surprised when they notice it's already four in the morning and decide to head back to the dorm. He _is_ surprised, however, when they’re all packing up to leave and Kihyun is still going at it, his feet awkwardly hitting the floor at the wrong beats.

“Hyung,” Jooheon whines, already at the door and holding it open for everyone else, “let’s go! Just sleep on it and you’ll be better tomorrow… That’s how it always is.” Jeez, does Kihyun… do this a lot? For some reason, Hyungwon feels like he isn’t as surprised as he should be. It seems to fit what little of Kihyun’s personality he knows. Kihyun looks over at Jooheon, shaking his head as he breathes heavily. His bangs stick to his damp forehead, and fat drops of sweat drip from his temples and down his neck, disappearing into the neckline of his black tshirt. 

Hyungwon feels the blood drain from his face, and he has to force himself to look away. God dammit, why does he have to notice _now_ how hot Kihyun is like this?? 

“You guys go ahead, I’m just running through it a couple more times,” Kihyun says, waving them off. He rests his hands on either one of his hips, breathing heavily. Hyungwon blinks slowly and looks at Minhyuk, as if in silent question. Minhyuk takes only a second’s look at him before giving a small, curt nod and waving everyone towards the door.

“Alright, but we’ll leave Wonnie with you,” Minhyuk announces. “He’s got some work to do on the routine, too. That way you won’t have to walk back alone, either.” Kihyun opens his mouth to protest, obviously, but Minhyuk’s got everyone out of the room before he can say anything. Kihyun huffs out a heavy breath, glancing quickly to Hyungwon then to the floor between them. Hyungwon stands there awkwardly, pretty unsure as to what he should say now. He’s still pretty butthurt over never having gotten a dinner invite, and Kihyun is always just so… _cold_ to him. A part of him wants to ask why, but he doesn’t really know if this is the time.

“You don’t have to stay,” Kihyun tells him, his tone stern and chilling. He then returns his gaze to the mirror and keeps working on the routine, murmuring the song lyrics under his breath. Hyungwon frowns hard at this, getting the underlying message of “I don’t want you here.” But, Hyungwon doesn’t always like doing what he’s told… So, he pushes the hurt from his mind at the rejection from a—cute—stranger, and he goes to the mirror.

“I’m staying.”

The simple sentence gives KIhyun obvious pause, but he tries to play it off as a misstep in the practice. Hyungwon can’t help the small smile at making the older mess up, the smirk of victory making its way to his eyes.

That’s the last thing either say until the sun comes up. Two hours later, Kihyun says he’s going to sit on the bench for just a breather. Next thing Hyungwon knows, a light snore is coming from behind him, and he turns around in shock to find Kihyun asleep. He can’t help but laugh, finding the way Kihyun has passed out with his head leaned back and his mouth slightly open almost endearing. His arms are even crossed still, like he’s mid-argument. 

Hyungwon looks out towards the sunlight, sighing to himself. It isn’t the first time he’s stayed up till sunrise before, but it’s the first time in a while he’s done so with someone other than Minhyuk. His body screams at him to sit down, and he figures he might as well, since Kihyun can’t judge him for taking a break now. He goes to sit on the floor, by Kihyun’s legs, and let’s his head fall naturally against the older’s knees. 

He’s asleep before he knows it, dreaming of easier, better days with Kihyun.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ki… Wonnie…! Dammit…” 

Hyungwon comes to with a rough shake, though he whines in his throat and keeps his eyes resolutely closed. He doesn’t know why there’s such urgency for him to wake up right now, but frankly he doesn’t care. He just wants sleep. He hears another groan of dismay, and he snuggles closer to his pillow as if in protest. Something about this pillow feels different… but no matter. A pillow’s a pillow. Maybe he just fell asleep on the floor again in the common area and he’s hugging someone’s laundry. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Wha…?” a vaguely familiar voice asks, sounding like its above him. Hyungwon ignores it in favor of rest. There’s a sigh, and his pillow suddenly  _ moves _ . Now, Hyungwon’s fairly certain this isn’t a pillow but in fact someone’s body. But, does that mean he’ll wake up now? No.

“Kihyun, how long have you guys been out?” Oh, that’s Minhyuk, Hyungwon realizes. Well, it’s fine if Minhyuk’s here.

“I don’t… fuck, man, I don’t know,” Kihyun replies, another groan slipping from his lips. Hyungwon’s heart starts to beat a bit faster as his pillow moves again, memories of just a few hours ago resurfacing. Oh shit, he’s sleeping on Kihyun.

“I just came in and found you guys,” Minhyuk goes on to say, sounding a bit sad. Why would he be so sad so early on? “Seriously, you should’ve just left with the rest of us, Kihyunnie. You were doing as fine as the rest of us.”

“Fine won’t cut it,” Kihyun tells him simply through a yawn. Hands press themselves against Hyungwon’s head gently, smaller than Minhyuk’s. He wonders if these are what Kihyun’s hands feel like, if they  _ are  _ Kihyun’s hands… It seems to be the only logical conclusion. His head is moved by possibly-Kihyun’s hands onto a hard surface, likely the bench. “I’m going to take a shower downstairs. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Ask for clothes from the staff!” Minhyuk tells him in a shout-whisper. Kihyun hums that he will, and Hyungwon hears the sound of the heavy door opening and closing. There’s one last sigh from Minhyuk, and he thinks maybe he’s lucked out. Kihyun didn’t flip out at being slept on, and Minhyuk is going to let him sleep a bit—

“Wonnie, wake the fuck up!” Minhyuk snaps, his hands suddenly on Hyungwon’s shoulders and shaking him roughly. Hyungwon gasps in surprise and opens his eyes, only to find a very concerned looking best friend. Hyungwon pouts at the way Minhyuk’s eyes shine, anxiety clear.

“Min, what’s—?”

“What happened between you and Kihyun after we left?” Minhyuk interrupts, sounding a bit frantic. Hyungwon’s brow furrows, confused by the older’s tone.

“We just practiced,” Hyungwon answers, his voice still thick with sleep. He rubs at his eyes, accidentally dislodging one of his contacts. He sighs at himself and tries to move it back in place, only one eye open now as he stares at his friend. “Why? What did you  _ think _ was going to happen?” Minhyuk shakes his head at Hyungwon’s question.

“I saw how you two were eyeballing each other during practice,” Minhyuk tells him, wagging a finger. “I mean, it makes sense. Kihyunnie’s jealous of your looks, so of course he’d have a crush on you. I just didn’t think you’d make such bad judgment so quickly and jeopardize everything!”

“The hell, Minhyuk??” Hyungwon demands, moving to stand up and stare Minhyuk directly in the eye. He completely glosses over the fact that Minhyuk has just said that Kihyun has a crush on him, saving that for a later date. “I didn’t jeopardize shit! And I wasn’t eyeballing anyone last night!! I—”

“Oh  _ please _ ,” Minhyuk snaps back, not backing down, “Jooheon and Yoosu asked me about it on the way back!! And, I quote, ‘it’s fine if he’s gay, i don’t give a shit. He just better be careful.’” Hyungwon falters for a moment, gulping thickly. Fuck… Had he really been staring at Kihyun that much? He hadn’t meant to be. In fact, even if he was—which he didn’t think he was—it’s only because he was so impressed by Kihyun’s work ethic last night. Nothing more.

Minhyuk’s gaze softens, obviously seeing Hyungwon’s worry shine in his gaze. He sighs, pulling Hyungwon into a hug, and Hyungwon clings to him in the moment, suddenly so very afraid. If Jooheon and Yoosu have already caught onto the fact of his sexuality, how long until the rest find out? What will the company do? Are any of his fellow trainees shitty enough to out him and ruin this chance at his dream?

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk whispers, petting at Hyungwon’s hair. Hyungwon shakes a little, realizing for certain that those had been Kihyun’s hands earlier. How can they feel so different from Minhyuk’s? They’re just hands. “I didn’t mean to start anything like this… Jooheon just said that last night, and it made me worried. When I woke up and didn’t find either of you, I freaked and came straight here. You know how I can get…” Hyungwon chuckles weakly, pulling away and sighing a breath of exasperation.

“I can’t believe I’m already figured out,” Hyungwon murmurs, going to slump on the bench.

“For what it’s worth, Jooheon seems trustworthy,” Minhyuk tells him, sitting beside him with a heavy exhale. “I don’t know about Yoosu, but, frankly, I don’t see him lasting that long in all this. I wouldn’t worry about him.” He pauses, knocking his knee against Hyungwon’s. “Just be careful, Wonnie, yeah? We just got here. I don’t want us to have to leave so soon, not when it’s  _ right there _ .”

“I wouldn’t ask you to leave with me, Min,” Hyungwon is quick to tell him, shaking his head before resting it against Minhyuk’s bony shoulder. His big doe eyes glaze over as they stare at the wall of mirrors in front of them, and he tries not to think of how much Minhyuk’s already been through with him. He honestly couldn’t ask for a better childhood friend.

“You wouldn’t have to, idiot. I’d do it anyway.” He pats Hyungwon’s knee, allowing them both a moment of reprieve before moving to get up. He goes to his bag and pulls out a set of clothes, sweats and a hoodie and fresh socks, and hands it over to Hyungwon. “Go shower downstairs, you’ve probably given Kihyun enough of a head start.” Hyungwon smiles weakly, taking the clothes and hugging Minhyuk gratefully.

“You’re the best,” he says, nudging him gently before leaving the room. Minhyuk shakes his head as he slumps back onto the bench. He swears, that friend of his is either very lucky or very unlucky… and he figures time will soon tell which one he is.


	4. Chapter 4

Two more weeks pass of practice, practice, and more practice. Hyungwon makes a conscious effort to not look at Kihyun… at all. And he’s pretty sure Kihyun catches onto the immediate freeze-out, because the older seems way more irritable than usual. He sees it in the way Kihyun glares at empty air, how he gets snippier with the others easier than before. He notes it and half the time is close to interject, but he keeps himself from doing so at the last second. The last thing he wants to do is draw Kihyun’s attention towards him. 

He supposes a part of him is grateful now that Kihyun hadn’t asked him out to dinner when he first got here. There’s no telling what the others might be saying now if he had… 

Kihyun, on the other hand, is very much not relieved by this. He can’t pinpoint why exactly it bothers him so much that the lanky visual has seemed to pull away from the typical niceties, cutting him out completely, ever since that night they stayed insanely late. Perhaps Hyungwon has realized he isn’t as much of a threat as he’d originally anticipated and therefore not worth his time to befriend. After all, there’s only so much teaching the instructors can give Kihyun as far as dancing goes.

He continues to stay late after every practice, deciding to both work out his frustrations and practice his parts. They’ve been assigned a group ballad to go with the dance number, and that—at the very least—Kihyun knows he can master. He spends half of his extra hours practicing vocally, singing until his throat feels raw, and the other half he dedicates to dancing. He does it after the others have left, only trudging home alone two or four hours later. Oftentimes, though, he isn’t the last to leave the company building. He’s noticed Hoseok staying later than most, and on rare nights when he’s feeling nice he’ll stop into Hoseok’s practice and make him come back to the dorm.

When they trudge inside in the wee morning hours together, too exhausted to make small talk, Kihyun always manages to run into Hyungwon getting out of the shower. He doesn’t understand why exactly the younger is staying up that late in the first place and  _ not _ practicing, but he also won’t question it outwardly. Less face time with him, the better.

“I think that’s good for tonight, guys,” Minhyuk calls out, glancing around at the others. Kihyun’s sprawled out on the floor, heaving in air as he leans back on his hands. Kihyun notes how Minhyuk’s gaze immediately slides over to Hyungwon, and he can’t help but look over curiously. Hyungwon’s only zoning out—again—and staring at the floor. Kihyun looks back in time to see Minhyuk release a seemingly relieved sigh, and his brow furrows in confusion. What’s that about…?

“I guess you’re staying, hyung?” Jooheon asks, wiping at his brow with his shirt. Kihyun hums, a distracted for a moment before he finally focuses his gaze on the rapper. 

“Ki,” Minhyuk says, crossing his arms over his chest as the others start to get their things, “no offense, but even a perfectionist should have his limits. Eventually all this extra practice is gonna bite you in the ass. What if your voice gives out in evaluation because you’ve worn it too thin during practice?” Kihyun frowns, glaring thoughtfully at the floor. Of course he’d thought about that, but he didn’t think he’d been wearing himself so thin in the group practices. 

“I’m mainly just focusing on the choreography, anyway,” Kihyun says, finally standing from the floor. He passes by Hyungwon without so much as glancing at him, though he feels he picks up on a certain kind of tension he hasn’t before… though, it could very well be the fatigue.

“Which you’ve got down,” Minhyuk tells him, sounding exasperated. “Seriously, as the team leader I’m gonna have to put my foot down here! You’re working yourself crazy and that stupid tv show hasn’t even started yet!! Save your energy when there’s bigger fish to fry!” Kihyun chews on the inside of his cheek and takes his time draining half his bottle of water. Minhyuk’s right, but he doesn’t want to admit that. The show is sure to have harder missions than this with shorter time frames. He doesn’t doubt the next few months of filming are going to be hell. After all, the show is called No Mercy… 

“I’ll just stay for an extra hour,” Kihyun finally says, looking back to find Minhyuk looking actually relieved. Shit, did he make a friend when he wasn’t looking?

“Wonnie,” Minhyuk says, causing Hyungwon’s attention to snap to him, “I’m counting on you to make  _ sure _ it’s only an hour. Drag him back by his ears if you have to.” Kihyun squints his eyes at that, frowning and glancing towards the visual. As if that scrawny— 

“A-Are you sure?” Hyungwon asks, shuffling forward a couple steps as if in protest. Minhyuk hums in confirmation, waving a hand as their other teammates start to file out the door. 

“ _ One hour _ ,” Minhyuk says, wagging a finger with an air of finality before following the others out. Hyungwon and Kihyun look at each other for the first time in days, and Kihyun has to bite back a sigh before going towards the sound system. He sees Hyungwon slink towards the bench and slump down, checking the time on his ipod before resting his head against the wall. Kihyun decidedly doesn’t note how nice Hyungwon looks like this, with sweat dripping down his handsome features and his eyes closed with his mouth open, giving him an almost dreamy effect.

Kihyun mentally curses, focusing on the song he’s pulling up, instead. It’s the one they’re singing for the group evaluation. It honestly would not have been his first choice, since a different style would better suit him personally, but he’ll be a team player… this time. If it bites him in the ass, then he won’t be doing so ever again. He starts the song and grabs a microphone, going to stand in front of the mirror to keep track of his own gestures and expressions as he sings. After all, singing is only half of what he needs to do. Acting plays a big part in the song.

Hyungwon doesn’t exactly know why Minhyuk’s making him stay alone with Kihyun again. After all, he’s been giving Kihyun  _ all _ of this space after the talk they had, so he doesn’t see why Minhyuk would be interceding now… He does his best to keep his eyes closed, to make it seem like he’s too tired to pay attention despite how every nerve-ending on his body is on high alert.

However, the tension is sapped out of his body when Kihyun starts singing… 

Kihyun’s almost ethereal notes echo off the wood floors, causing Hyungwon’s eyes to snap open despite himself. He tries not to stare at the older as he sways in place to the music, though he fails as he watches Kihyun’s reflection in the mirror. Kihyun’s pouring his soul out into this song, more so than he does in group rehearsals. Hyungwon finds himself wondering why Kihyun holds himself back around the others. Is it a ploy to keep them all relaxed until evaluation day? Then he can just cut loose and throw everyone off?? Hyungwon frowns, unable to picture Kihyun as that vindictive. Minhyuk, maybe, but definitely not Kihyun.

The smooth vocals ease the pain from Hyungwon’s limbs, washes away the general stresses of trainee life. Hyungwon leans harder against the wall, wholly captivated. Maybe Kihyun is just trying not to outshine everyone so early on…? Though, that’d likely be counterproductive in the long run. Hyungwon chews on his lower lip, lost in thought with Kihyun as his background music… Hyungwon’s chest swells as Kihyun climbs higher and higher in range, falling down with Kihyun’s notes as he reaches the vocal adlib. Hyungwon hums along despite himself, trying hard to not note how well their voices play off each other.

Damn, does he have it bad… As if Kihyun weren’t catching his eye enough as is, now he’s just gotta go falling for his talent, too… 

_ God dammit, Chae…  _


	5. Chapter 5

Evaluation day comes and goes, and Hyungwon dances and sings his heart and soul out for those judges who seem so easily unimpressed. They’re given limited feedback, and Hyungwon is just about sure he’s about to start losing his mind. Or sell his soul just to get through this process. There are cameras, more cameras than usual, and he wonders if he’d missed an announcement about this being part of that tv show that they’re going to film. Probably, but he won’t ask and make himself look stupid. He dances as hard as he can, hitting all the movements just right, and he harmonizes with the others in the group ballad. They pass the evaluation, though he’d suspected they would just so they’d have a big enough pool for that damn show. They’re given numbered tags, rankings, and a mission for the first episode of the tv show…

He listens as hard as he can to everything they say, but he’s a bit too distracted by how closely Kihyun is standing to him. Or, maybe he’s standing too close to Kihyun. But, if that were the case, there wouldn’t be so much distances between Kihyun and Gunhee, which means the way Kihyun’s arm is so close to touching Hyungwon’s is partly Kihyun’s own doing. Hyungwon does his best not to look at him, fairly certain he isn’t doing it on purpose but also not wanting to draw attention to it in case Kihyun would pull away if he knew.

Next thing he knows, there’s cameras in their dorms, in their beds, and those numbers are like badges of shame on their chests. He isn’t sure what surprises him more, the tags or the fact that he seemed to only do slightly less well than Kihyun. Kihyun, who had worked himself silly to nail the moves and sung himself hoarse practicing the group ballad. Kihyun, the perfectionist. Kihyun, the shoo-in for the final lineup. Kihyun, number eight, and Hyungwon, number nine.

He’ll admit, a part of him feels the slightest bit of achievement at being second to the best singer in the competition. Because, and he doesn’t care what the judges or producers have to say, Kihyun has the best voice hands-down… Though, judging by the way Kihyun’s guarded eyes study that number eight on his tag, Hyungwon isn’t sure if Kihyun himself believes that anymore. The camera crew hover around every doorway, taking record of their reactions at their rankings, but Kihyun seems hellbent on not giving them one. 

“Yoo,” a gruff voice calls, causing Hyungwon and Kihyun to look towards it. An older man with a rolled-up script and a pencil stuck between his ear and his baseball cap is waving Kihyun away from the others, and Kihyun, for the first time, seems to hesitate. Hyungwon watches as he inhales deeply through his nose and squares his shoulders, somehow seeming taller as he steels himself for whatever’s coming. Hyungwon hovers just close enough to catch the words “solo interview” before he meanders towards the kitchen for a snack. Hyungwon purses his lips as he surveys the near-empty cabinets, wondering if he’s going to get a solo interview.

Well, that’s stupid. Of course he is. Should he act ashamed of his number? Proud? No, definitely not proud. That would show that he’s happy with being middle of the pack, with not standing out. And, as an idol, he  _ has _ to stand out… So, humbled? Yeah, sure, he’ll go with humbled. He’ll work harder to not disappoint viewers, because he can’t call them fans yet, and he’ll push himself to greater limits in order to prove himself worthy of a higher ranking.

He can’t help how he chances a glance over his shoulder, pressing his lips together in dismay. He doesn’t know a lot about Kihyun, sure, but he knows how prideful the other can be just from their limited interactions. He knows the number eight must be killing him inside… 

Kihyun doesn’t go back to the dorm after his solo interview, instead opting to practice. He’ll sing his heart out to the empty room and the unfeeling mirrors, and then he’ll go back home. After all, just who the  _ fuck _ do those assholes think they are??? Number  _ eight _ ??? _ EIGHT _ ??? Out of  _ twelve _ ???? That’s less than 50%! Statistically speaking, he’s a failure of a trainee. Which, for the record, he most certainly knows he is  _ not _ . 

It’s all because of that damn ballad they chose to sing as a group. He let the others outshine him, he took one for the team and now he’s paying for it. He’d known in practice those vocal runs were a mess, but he’d known if he were to speak up then he’d be called a spoilsport, not a team player. Well, next time he knows to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.

He won’t let himself be the sacrificial lamb again.

He doesn’t know what time it is when he finally walks back to the dorm. He just knows he really wishes he’d thought to bring a better jacket. Of course, this is what happens when he acts impulsively. He has to be better about that, too… 

He stumbles into the dorm, relieved to find the camera crews have left already. He’s sure there are still cameras in the beds, but that he doesn’t mind too much. Of course, it means now he’ll have to start wearing clothes when he sleeps, but—

“Oh!” a faint, warm voice says in surprise, and Kihyun glances for a moment towards the couch to see who could possibly still be up. That is, the extra mattress they sometimes use for a couch since they all end up switching or sharing beds for some reason or another at some point. Kihyun blinks once, taking a moment to process it’s Hyungwon sitting there. Alone. Huh… 

“… Hey,” Kihyun greets, not bothering to shield the coldness from his own voice. He doesn’t want the visual to start thinking they’re on equal terms now or anything, after all. Hyungwon purses his lips, readjusting his cardigan slightly and showing Kihyun a glimpse of that cursed nine. Goddammit… As if being ranked so low wasn’t enough, now he’s just a step above  _ Hyungwon _ of all people.

“Your voice sounds scratchy,” Hyungwon notes, his tone so thick and slow and soothing. At least, Kihyun knows other people find it soothing. Especially his singing voice. 

“I was practicing,” he says, starting for the bedrooms as if that’s the end of it. However, it seems Hyungwon has other ideas. 

“Let me make you some tea,” Hyungwon offers, taking big steps to seemingly put himself between Kihyun and his destination. Kihyun’s gaze narrows despite himself, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His shoulders haunch up, immediately on the defense.

“Why?” he can’t help but ask, unsure as to what Hyungwon’s gain could be. Hyungwon’s plump lips seem to waver before setting into a tight line.

“Can I not just be nice to you?” Hyungwon asks in return, his borderline accusatory tone taking Kihyun aback. “I know you can’t be too happy about your rank, and I—”

“I don’t need your pity,” Kihyun interrupts, shaking his head. 

“It’s not pity,” Hyungwon tells him, crossing his arms over his chest as he takes a step closer. “It’s sympathy. We’re all in an impossible situation, an unfair one.” 

“And, what?” Kihyun asks, his brows pinching together. “You thought we could be friends now because I ranked just above you? Well this number is jumping up to one or two in the first mission, make no mistake.  _ This _ ,” Kihyun says, flinging a finger towards his tag, “doesn’t mean shit. I’m better than this, and I’m going to prove it.”

“Not with your voice in that condition,” Hyungwon says plainly, seeming unimpressed by Kihyun’s proclamation, “which is why I’m offering you tea.” Kihyun falters at that, and he knows it shows by the amused smirk that pulls at the corners of his mouth. He takes another step closer, and Kihyun doesn’t think he likes that twinkle in his big, doll-like eyes, not even brave enough to name it. “I do want to be friends eventually, hyung, even though I don’t think you do… But, for now, just let me make you some tea. Okay?”

Kihyun pauses, something rising in his chest despite how desperately he tries to squish it down. It’s not as easy to handle as aggravation or anger. Eventually, he nods, not meeting Hyungwon’s eyes because he knows the relieved light in his eyes would be enough to make that feeling push itself out fully. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor as he follows Hyungwon into the kitchen, glad at least that Hyungwon’s one of the quieter ones and won’t force him to talk for the remainder of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Won,” Minhyuk tells him in hushed tones, and Hyungwon doesn’t have to look at him to know the look of worry he’s giving him. He sighs through his nose, his eyes trained on Kihyun as the older works in the cramped kitchen with Kwangji to clean up from lunch. 

“It was just tea,” Hyungwon replies, pulling his knees up to his chest to try and hide his own pout. “We didn’t talk or anything after we went to the kitchen. I just made the tea, he drank it, and we went to bed.  _ Separate _ beds.”

“But this broke the ice,” Minhyuk says, his tone hurried and hushed. “It was easier for you to deal with this little crush when he wouldn’t so much as look at you. Now, he’s already looked at you  _ three times _ since I’ve been in here.”

“Because he knows we’re talking about him.”

As if to prove his point, Kihyun leaves the kitchen for a moment to retrieve the last of the dishes. His eyes fall on Minhyuk and Hyungwon, and Hyungwon feels a shiver run down his spine at the light in Kihyun’s eyes. He thinks it’s the closest thing to pure hatred he’s ever seen from a real person before. Hyungwon watches quietly as he disappears back into the kitchen, dropping his forehead against his knees in an effort to hide.

“This isn’t dangerous,” Hyungwon adds, his voice muffled by his legs. “He can stand me even less than he could before, I’m sure. Just look at the way he looks at me.”

“Pretty sure at least, like, half of that was because we aren’t cleaning,” Minhyuk points out, and Hyungwon can’t help the small, airy laugh that escapes him. He’s probably right, considering how much of a stickler Kihyun is for keeping things tidy. “I just… don’t want you getting distracted, Wonnie,” Minhyku adds, a bit quieter this time. “We both have to make it through, and I don’t want you losing focus because of some pretty vocalist who may not hate you one day.”

Hyungwon’s gaze drifts up through his bangs to watch how naturally Kihyun moves around, his cute little form maneuvering the cramped space. Well… he won’t say it, but he sure does hope one day Kihyun will do more than just not hate him.

“We’re going to make it,” Hyungwon assures Minhyuk, but for the first time he doesn’t mean only them two. Despite their lower rankings, Hyungwon knows deep down him, Minhyuk,  _ and _ Kihyun are going to make it through this and come out on the other side on top. They just have to get through this first mission… 

Before Kihyun knows it, it’s time for them to perform their first solo mission. He’s spent barely any time at the dorm for the passed couple weeks, practicing harder than he ever has before. On the rare nights he crawls his way back to the dorm, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to use his voice again with how hoarse he is. But, then Hyungwon will make him a cup of… whatever the hell kind of tea that is he makes, and he can actually mutter a thank-you. Which he ends up doing more often than not. It had surprised himself and Hyungwon the first time he’d managed to breathe it out, the words so tense and awkward falling from his lips. But, the more he’s said it, the easier it’s become.

He doesn’t even know why it is that Hyungwon’s up like this, almost as if he’s waiting for Kihyun to return and make sure he’s okay. A part of him is weary of such attention, a lingering feeling in the back of his mind that threatens to spill out in those small moments where he catches Hyungwon staring for a moment too long, or when they meet each other’s gazes before going into their separate rooms. He squashes it back down to where it belongs before he says something stupid, luckily, but he isn’t sure how much longer he can keep himself under control.

Especially not when the song he’s singing is about a love for a friend growing deeper, too deep to handle, and the friend rejecting you and leaving you begging on your knees as you scream—

Well, at least Kihyun isn’t  _ friends _ , per se, with Hyungwon. So that’s one difference he has going for him. Though, no matter how much he won’t admit it aloud, he will cop in the privacy of his own mind to thinking of Hyungwon on occasion when he’s really diving deep into the song’s emotions. Of course, he definitely doesn’t  _ love _ Hyungwon, by any means, but he won’t deny that the younger is special… and not just because of his looks, like Kihyun had assumed originally. He’s watched how Hyungwon laughs with Minhyuk when they’re gossiping in the living room, seen that innocent twinkle in his eyes and heard that pure, airy sound of amusement slip from his lips.

He also won’t admit to how much that sound makes him want to smile more often than not, despite how he keeps himself from doing so.

On d-day, Kihyun’s more than a bit nervous. He doesn’t expect to be standing in front of powerhouses like Hyolyn and K.Will, but he doesn’t let that intimidate him. After all, why else would the producers not let them in on  _ that _ part of the plan? It’s all mind games here, and he’s going to beat them at it if it’s the last thing he does. He watches with the others as their fellow trainees go, his eyes glued to the small tv in the dressing room. This is his first time seeing his competition perform outside of a practice room, really  _ perform _ , and he’s taking notes. 

When it’s his turn to go up, he squares his shoulders and doesn’t allow himself to show the fear coursing through his veins. He feels anxiety start to clog up his throat, and he suddenly wonders if he can still even sing. Or, will this be like his worst nightmare from middle school and he’ll open his mouth only to go mute? Damn, wouldn’t that be a narrative for the show.

However, when he gets up on that stage, feels those bright, hot lights on his face, he knows this is where he belongs. And he’s not going to choke. He’s going to blow them all away.

When Kihyun takes the stage on that tiny television, Hyungwon can see why Kihyun’s in the training program. He has the stage presence despite his stature, his pride more than making up for it. He’s attractive, he’s cocky as hell, and he’s a Grade A talent. He sings his heart out, harder than Hyungwon has ever seen him sing before, and when Kihyun falls to his knees with that look of pure anguish on his face it’s all Hyungwon can do to keep from falling off his seat with him.

It’s in that moment, Hyungwon knows he fucked up. Minhyuk was right. Maybe without the nightly tea this would be easier to handle, but this little crush of his… has turned into quite the big problem. And Hyungwon doesn’t know if he can ignore it any more.


	7. Chapter 7

Kihyun avoids Hyungwon’s gaze when he passes the younger on his way to the dressing room. He retakes his seat on the bench and thanks everyone for their congratulations with a respectful and humble nod. He stares at the screen expectantly, tapping his fingers against the tips of his knees absently.

“I wouldn’t worry about your rank after today, hyung,” Jooheon tells him kindly. Kihyun smiles, still anxiety-ridden and letting it show. Jooheon claps his shoulder, nodding once, and Kihyun only thanks him softly before returning his attention to the impending performance of Trainee #9. He watches as Hyungwon gets up onstage, his good looks seeming highlighted by the stage lights. A sign he belongs up there. 

Hyungwon speaks with the judges for a short time, introducing himself politely. He says what he’s going to perform, gets doted on by Hyolyn for his looks. It makes a sticky, bitter ball rise in Kihyun’s throat, and he has to swallow hard around it. Of course that’s the first thing they notice… The pretty boys always have an advantage.

However, when Hyungwon begins performing, Kihyun doesn’t mind admitting he’s pleasantly surprised. Hyungwon’s English pronunciation is decent, and it fits his silky voice better than Kihyun would have expected. He actually seems to let loose, enjoying himself onstage. And, when he dances, Kihyun’s stomach stirs with the conflicting storm of strong approval, appreciation, and jealousy. The one thing he can’t best anyone at, and some of his biggest competition is one of the best at it.

_ Dammit, Chae, _ Kihyun can’t help but think, gnawing on the inside of his cheek.  _ You just had to one-up me… _ He hates how good Hyungwon looks in such a simple outfit, his hairstyle seemingly effortless. He despises how his legs seem to fit the kind of jeans that cut off just at the ankles, the kind that’d be most unflattering on Kihyun’s own shorter legs. Hyungwon picks up in every area he lacks, and that’s what he can’t stand most of all… 

Kihyun’s so consumed with his appearance and how much of a growing threat Hyungwon is that he doesn’t even pick up on the cracking notes in his performance. Though, he can’t deny he’s glad Hyolyn did. He nods along when the judges say that Hyungwon should do his best every time, not have a mentality of doing better next time. He hears Jooheon hum in agreement, as well, and he can’t help but smirk.

Hyungwon will go up in the rankings for sure, but he won’t outrank Kihyun. 

It feels like an eternity passes before they’re all called back to the stage for their evaluations. Performances aside, the judges took much too long to deliberate for Kihyun’s liking… With each moment that passes by, he can feel his high ranking slipping from his grasp. He sits on the seat closest to the door, his leg thrown over his knee and his hands wringing together in his lap. Despite his nerves, he keeps a steady expression on the other trainees. He won’t let them see him sweat.

He runs over his own performance in his head, replaying every minute little detail. He sees where his movements were stiff, when his emoting could’ve come across as awkward. His singing was the best that he could manage, though he really shouldn’t have acted so humble. Next time, he’ll own the fact that he’s the best singer in this competition.

“You did awesome, hyung,” Hyungwon’s hoarse voice suddenly says, jolting Kihyun out of his own thoughts. He blinks as he glances over at the younger, confused. When did he leave the ring the others had formed by the mirrors and the cooler? 

“You were… surprising,” Kihyun admits, unable to actually get his mouth around “you were good” or even “impressive.” Hyungwon’s brow furrows at that, and Kihyun allows himself a satisfied smirk. He won’t explain it, though. He’ll just let Hyungwon take it how he will. Hyungwon frowns at noticing Kihyun’s expression, huffing out a short breath. It seems he’s about to say more, his thick lips parting and forming a shape, but then a staff member comes in and calls them back. Kihyun is out of his chair and out of the room before it seems the others even process the news.

He charges ahead, ready for the judges’ verdict.

Number… four?  _ Number four _ ????? Kihyun doesn’t speak much after he gets his new ranking, doesn’t really look at the other trainees. He avoids the staff at all costs, not willing to do his interview until later. He makes a beeline for the backstage bathroom as soon as they’ve given the greenlight to disperse, locking the door despite the ample amount of stalls and sinking down to the floor. His blood boils, his throat constricts hard around nothing. His air feels like it’s coming to him harder than usual, like its claws are raking its way down his throat to his lungs.

The hell is this company playing at??? 

Kihyun buries his fingers in his own hair, thinking of all those hours of practice he’d put into this performance. Just how much more do they want from him? How much harder does he have to push to get them to see he’s the best? 

God, and this is only the first mission… They haven’t even announced how many there will be, or how many members will be around when all is said and done. This truly is a show without mercy.

Hyungwon’s words from so many nights ago ring in his ears. “Not with your voice in that condition.” Had he… in fact practiced  _ too _ much? Worn himself out so that his true potential couldn’t shine through? He honestly didn’t think that was possible. After all, he has to be perfect, and practice makes perfect, so… How can you  _ over _ perfect yourself and your performance? He sighs, leaning his head back against the door… He lets his eyes close, enjoying the small moment of reprieve. He’ll just stay here until someone comes looking for him.

Hyungwon chews on the end of his thumb, eyes anxiously looking around the stage. Kihyun isn’t there, hasn’t been there for a few minutes now. A staff member calls roll, and when Kihyun doesn’t answer they ask where he is. 

“I-I… think he went that way,” Hyungwon mutters to Minhyuk, nodding in the way he for sure saw Kihyun go. Minhyuk raises a brow at him before getting the staffer’s attention and echoing Hyungwon’s direction. 

“Probably went to go freak out about his ranking,” Minhyuk says under his breath, barely loud enough for Hyungwon to hear. Hyungwon scowls at that.

“He isn’t an infant,” Hyungwon defends too quickly, his tone hushed. Minhyuk regards him with raised brows, and Hyungwon only shakes his head. He has to play it off. “It’s natural for all of us not ranked #1 or #2 to be frustrated with how much work we put into these performances.”

“We have to harden ourselves against it, Won,” Minhyuk tells him, his voice strained. His makeup is streaked through with tears. “I get it, I do, but we need to grow stronger spines if we’re getting into the entertainment industry.” Hyungwon’s shoulders deflate, noting the cold light in Minhyuk’s eyes, and he can’t help but wonder if Minhyuk is saying that more to Hyungwon or himself… 


	8. Chapter 8

Kihyun uses the next few days to only practice a few hours a day, really taking care of his throat and his body. He doesn’t feel too bad about it, since the other trainees seem to have gotten the same idea… That is, aside from the last three ranked. Minhyuk seems to have caught Kihyun’s training bug, leaving early in the morning, coming back late at night, and only getting two or four hours’ sleep before heading back out again. Kihyun’s gone with Hoseok and Hyungwon on occasion to check on him and make sure he’s eating and hydrating properly. Hyungwon rarely says much on these outings, though he catches the younger staring at him questioningly when he thinks Kihyun isn’t looking.

He goes to practices for group choreographies, though, knowing he needs to ace that considering he’s… you know, trying to be in an idol  _ group _ . It’s during one of these group sessions, though, that cameras invade the practice room. He thinks nothing of it, figuring they’re just going to splice together with other stuff at some point. However, then the food starts arriving…

“What if we have to pay for all of this later?” Gun asks, hovering over the food. It just keeps coming and coming: noodles of all sorts, chicken five different ways, pizza, and of course soul food like tteokboki and dumplings. Kihyun’s sat himself at the head of the growing buffet, already starting to tear into the chicken. He doesn’t really care right now, since he’s barely eaten much all day. Hyungwon’s sitting to his right, balancing on the balls of his feet as he slurps at the sauce on a chicken piece before crunching into it. Kihyun finishes off his own piece and starts sucking down some broth, sniffling after he swallows it and a mouthful of noodles.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring at Hyungwon until the pizza comes in, eliciting a dance from Hoseok and Minhyuk behind him. Kihyun’s so tired and overcome with all his favorite foods being in one place that he actually laughs. He lets his guards down without realizing, even going along with a song about Italian cheese that Minhyuk sings softly next to him. He bounces his shoulders in time with Minhyuk’s, giving up after the first round of notes and refocusing on the more important task at hand: stuffing his face.

Hyungwon laughs next to him, making chitchat with the other trainees. Jooheon and Kwangji make up a rap about the sweet and sour pork, and Yoonho and Minkyun munch on veggie wraps. Hyungwon’s laughter filters about it all, though, filling Kihyun’s senses. He… can’t think of a time he’s heard such a hearty sound from the younger before, and for some reason it’s making it all the easier for Kihyun to relax into the moment. Hyungwon leans across his lap to get a lettuce leaf, or another slice of pizza, or he leans away to retrieve a cup for water. 

Kihyun feels himself tense up in these moments, watching Hyungwon out of the corner of his eye like a hawk.

Kihyun doesn’t hear who suggests they play a game to decide who’ll eat a full pepper on his own, too distracted by Hyungwon’s closeness. He laughs more on autopilot with the others, echoing the sounds around him with a smile wide enough to show off his simples. It’s important to show his human side to the viewers, after all. He has to make fans now so that it’s harder for him to be kicked off in case he has a bad week… not that he’ll ever  _ have _ a bad week, mind you. He’s going to keep giving his all every week, for as many weeks as he needs to. The show could go on for years, the company just adding people and taking them away. Of course, that’s ridiculous. Kihyun  _ knows _ that’s ridiculous. The company wouldn’t do something so shady as to add a trainee after they’ve already started… right?

Right.

Suddenly, they’re playing rock paper scissors, and Kihyun has to ascertain secondhand that they’re playing to avoid who’ll have to eat a whole pepper. The notion doesn’ particularly bother him, but when it gets down to only Hyungwon and Gunhee, he can’t help but laugh.

“Ah… Hyungwonnie~!” he calls out, leaning closer despite himself. He sees how Hyungwon’s eyes flick towards his for only a moment, something hidden just beneath the surface, before anxiously glancing away towards the door. He gulps thickly, his adam’s apple bobbing, and Kihyun is pretty sure his irises are shaking. He can’t help the genuine nature that overtakes his business smile, having to pretend to cough for a moment to get his expression back under control.

“Neither of them likes spicy stuff!” one of the other trainees says, and for some reason Kihyun finds himself ingraining that fact into the back of his brain. Something tells him it’ll come in handy someday… 

They do the final round of rock, paper, scissors, Hyungwon’s plump lips pressed together nervously. When Hyungwon wins, Kihyun sees him leaning a bit too close. Kihyun puts his hands against Hyungwon’s thigh to steady him, leaning forward and forcing out a laugh. He feels Hyungwon’s arm drape over him, and he can’t help but sit up to just lean closer… and closer… and— 

_ Stop it, Yoo _ , he mentally chastises himself, pulling away. He sits back on his hands, grateful the cameras have turned towards Gun as he takes his punishment. He notes how Hyungwon’s own laughter subsides, but he doesn’t acknowledge it outwardly. When Gunhee starts going through his stages of coping with the heat that’s overtaken his mouth, Kihyun just focuses on helping to clean up the mess the food had created.

When they suggest they play a game with post-it notes, Kihyun knows he’s going to be the first one out. He’s always been good and shaking around frantically, it’s part of what the company calls his “hamster energies.” However, he doesn’t expect Hyungwon to finish second… or to so casually lean against him and hang all over him. Kihyun awkwardly laughs along as the others struggle, wrapping an arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders, as well, to keep him upright.

He’s probably just tired… right? That’s why he stays all over Kihyun for the remainder of the night, even after the others have finished. Even after they leave Jooheon to finish that entire pizza alone and Hyungwon keeps himself hanging off Kihyun’s back as they walk to the dorm together. He’s just too tired to walk to his own, or to even stumble over to Minhyuk for support. It was just because Kihyun was the closest… Yeah, that’s it. That has to be it.

They can’t afford it to be for any other reason… no matter how meaningful Hyungwon’s eyes are on Kihyun’s as they separate in the hallway, Hyungwon into his room and Kihyun into his own. Kihyun stares up through the dark at his ceiling long after the snoring from his roommates fills the room, convincing himself all night it had all just been coincidence despite how hard his heart beats in his chest at remembering how nice it felt to be held by Hyungwon. 

And, worse still, how much better it felt to hold him in return.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all can follow me on Twitter @ReeLeeV1!


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